Marriage Equality Painting Day 12

Added some scenery to the windows and I'm kinda just medium about it. It will probably get changed. I taped a couple on top to show what it will look like. they will be smaller though. This whole process is just trying things and sometimes liking it and other times not. The beauty of oils is that you can always paint over it.

It's getting closer though to what I want out of it.

I've been wanting to share some feelings and for the longest while now. 

I can't get the gumption ( i guess the word is) to put them down. I don't know if I'm ignoring them or just cant make sense or afraid to write. I need to settle myself and get back to letting it flow. It's just not coming very naturally. That's why I bore you with these day to day updates on my painting.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 11

Darkened the foreground and lightened the background. Got rid of the weird green on backside window panels and not really wild about that either.
My intention the whole time was to put a same sex couple a top the cake. (males) Someone mentioned that it wasn't needed and I kinda scoffed like yeah right. But now sitting with that thought for a while it seems like it actually would be ok. Basically just saying that everyone has a right to be married. Not labeling who. My issue is that it will leave the piece flat or missing something. I'm pondering it.
If you have any thoughts let me know.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 9

I didn't get much done yesterday as I knew I wouldn't. I did some on the panels on the back and they still need more work. My painting friends came over yesterday. I made a quinoa salad, one friend brought wine and carmel popcorn and another one brought an apple pie. It was a beautiful day to paint outside with awesome people and have good fun food.

On a funny and oh so wonderful note. Found out one of the gal friends a former makeup artist used to do her magic on female parts for Larry Flint during shoots. It became hilariously funny conversation as you can imagine. Evidently he wanted to make sure all vajayjay's looked like moist flowers.
She said any bi-sexual fantasies that she had went out the door after dealing with all the different types of boxes she'd experienced. It was pretty funny to hear about.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 7

Blocking the cake in.

I got tired of dealing with the green on the seats.

I'll get back to that issue soon.

So I diverted myself and started on the cake.

Marriage Equality Painting day 5

I'm coming along pretty good. Its size seems a little overwhelming.

I'm painting today with a friend at my house. Probably by the weekend I will be drawing the wedding cake into the back seat and hopefully start painting on it next week.

In between

This is my" in between" painting.

I've been doing this little piece in preparation for another show in June. I paint twice a week at school and it is an easy piece physically to take back and forth. My marriage Equality piece is 30' x 42" and too big for me to handle, plus and art bag filled with supplies. I have done it before and it's a bitch. I look like a fuckin sail boat with it wedged between my knees, and trying to navigate that into an elevator.

I'm trying to do some smaller works for this show because they might sell easier because of the venue.  Obviously the bigger the piece, the higher the price.  Some paintings call for a bigger canvas and I won't look away at that fact if it is what it needs. I do what feels right according to the subject matter and the impact I want to make with it.  This little guy felt right and I have a couple more ideas for some smaller pieces. So that's good.

Update on my personal life.... I'm moving forward with a heavy heart and I feel that's all I can do. Our marriage and individually we are changed forever. Not saying we can't learn or grow from this but just stating an obvious fact. I feel totally different. 

I have some definite ups and downs and I guess have to go with it. i don't have a choice. I've lost myself and that's a weird feeling after years of soul searching and embracing the true me. 

I hold tightly to my painting because that is what I have that is pretty solid and I know it's mine and can't be taken from me.(unless maybe I loose my arms in an accident)

 So shallow, but truth to me.

I find myself realizing some shit about friends and family and what I'm going to put up with and what the new Laroo is going to embrace. I'm so tired of  living a facade, a fantasy life that isn't true to form, walking on eggshells. Basically to make others comfortable, while I feel uncomfortable.

There are some fake ass people out there that talk a big game but don't hold up to what is true and kind. It hurts. We've recently made some new friends that both hubby and I can relate with and "seem" to be more upfront and real. 

Maybe somehow I have let myself seek that out.  Put myself out there as this is what and who I am and the people that are more open minded are filtering in? I can only hope.

This year has been lonely and scary and without people backing you, it was terrifying. 

I don't want to feel like I'm on a surface level anymore with people. I need depth.

Heart strings

The lights are twinkly.

I really need to get ready in the morning before I do these little snippets.
The colors in the painting are much more defined than what the video shows. Hopefully I can see if I can get it to show better next time. Maybe the lighting????

On its way.

I started this piece the other day. This is a self portrait and I'm working from a photograph this time. I am just blocking in the color and actaully have gotten quite a bit further since I took this picture. By "blocking in", I mean putting the general localized color on the entire piece before going into the detail. I will try to get another picture soon so you can see the progress.