New Path

I'm on a personal journey that I thought I had pretty much conquered. Finding myself. Not that I thought I had life all wrapped up in a neat package, but did think I was on a forward positive path.
I might have been but the forks in the road have told a different story of my ignorance and trust and fate.

I'm different. I pretty much look the same, maybe a few pounds heavier from the stresses......but inside I'm different. Life has taken me and turned me upside down and shook all I thought I had out of me.

On that same token, I am free. Free as I ever have been. I know what I don't want, I know what I don't want to put up with. I yearn.....I see how fast things go and how things aren't always what you think they are.
My mind has opened to make changes and see things so differently. To depend on anybody but myself whole heartily, is a new one for me. Also to what level or degree to keep others at. To love hard and give doesn't always come back the way you had always hoped. I learned that with many friends and family this last 16 months.

But this is my path.

I will do the best I can and learn to love again but in a different way.

Tah Dah.

It's done. (I'm guessing around 85 hours put into it) It's submitted.

It's going up for silent auction. 

%50 goes to the cause and %50 goes to me.

Min. bid I started way lower than my normal pricing to get interest.

Who knows how it will go? It might not even sell. It's always up in the air with things like this. 

Show doesn't open until May. 

Its been on FB getting lots of love. It's been chosen by our local paper to promote the show.

It will be in print and on the racks this next Monday.

It's already gotten good response.

It feels good.

On to thinking about my next piece. I'm not going to bore you with the steps of that one though. I'm entering my colleges student show in the next week with some recent paintings and painting towards upcoming shows in June and in October. Hopefully I will find some others that I want to be involved in also. 

Marriage Equality Painting Day 15

Down the home stretch.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 14

Took it to school yesterday and by popular opinion I nixed the back window scenery. Lowered the horizon line still viewed by the side windows. Added a happier sunnier sky and started painting in the couple.
I'm feeling better about it. I was told it kind of has an Edward Hopper feel. I'll take that! LOL

This change has put me a bit behind but O'well, I can only do what I can do, plus been fighting crazy headaches for several days now. I'm not one to have them and trying to just deal with it.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 13

Yesterday I noodled around with the scenery. I  made it have contrast in the very closest seats to bring them forward. I added some values to the cake but not nearly enough yet. Today I will draw on the couple and get them started a bit and I still want to lighten those back side window panels. They bug me. Or at least get more highlights into them. Add reflected light of the green onto the cake.

So much to do, now so little time before it's turned in.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 12

Added some scenery to the windows and I'm kinda just medium about it. It will probably get changed. I taped a couple on top to show what it will look like. they will be smaller though. This whole process is just trying things and sometimes liking it and other times not. The beauty of oils is that you can always paint over it.

It's getting closer though to what I want out of it.

I've been wanting to share some feelings and for the longest while now. 

I can't get the gumption ( i guess the word is) to put them down. I don't know if I'm ignoring them or just cant make sense or afraid to write. I need to settle myself and get back to letting it flow. It's just not coming very naturally. That's why I bore you with these day to day updates on my painting.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 11

Darkened the foreground and lightened the background. Got rid of the weird green on backside window panels and not really wild about that either.
My intention the whole time was to put a same sex couple a top the cake. (males) Someone mentioned that it wasn't needed and I kinda scoffed like yeah right. But now sitting with that thought for a while it seems like it actually would be ok. Basically just saying that everyone has a right to be married. Not labeling who. My issue is that it will leave the piece flat or missing something. I'm pondering it.
If you have any thoughts let me know.

I did it.

So last Friday I was going to the YMCA to just go work out on the machines, when I remembered that the Zumba Gold class was going at noon. I had blogged about it wantng to do it few posts ago. I decided to do it and just went for it. I shook as I drove there and couldn't catch a good breath. I got there early which was a bit of a torture.

When it was time I just told the instructor it was my first time and I don't know how much I can do but I want to try. She responded that I just need to have fun and do what I can do. So I positioned myself to the far side and had some small chit chat with some ladies. Most of them 20-30 years my senior. Of course one asked why I was in the wheelchair. I gave a quick answer and we started groovin.

I felt like a complete dork as I tried to follow the head gal. But did the whole 45 min. session just movin anyway I could that was similar to what was going on. I loved being a part of a dancing group like that and will definitely do it again, dorkiness and all.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 10

Worked today mostly on the ceiling and a little bit on the cake.

I think its finally starting to come into its own.

It will probably be done at the end of next week.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 9

I didn't get much done yesterday as I knew I wouldn't. I did some on the panels on the back and they still need more work. My painting friends came over yesterday. I made a quinoa salad, one friend brought wine and carmel popcorn and another one brought an apple pie. It was a beautiful day to paint outside with awesome people and have good fun food.

On a funny and oh so wonderful note. Found out one of the gal friends a former makeup artist used to do her magic on female parts for Larry Flint during shoots. It became hilariously funny conversation as you can imagine. Evidently he wanted to make sure all vajayjay's looked like moist flowers.
She said any bi-sexual fantasies that she had went out the door after dealing with all the different types of boxes she'd experienced. It was pretty funny to hear about.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 8

I changed the color of all the seats and added sun beams to them.

Need to get rid of the horrendous green side panels.

Will probably work on the ceiling also today.

Some friends are coming over for a paint day in my patio.

I'll get nothing done, its more of a social time.

He doesn't give a shit! He's bad ass!

This narrative got me to giggling like crazy.

Too funny.

Eeeeew gross.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 7

Blocking the cake in.

I got tired of dealing with the green on the seats.

I'll get back to that issue soon.

So I diverted myself and started on the cake.

Marriage Equality Painting Day 6

I'm not feeling great about the green. Two closest seats and back bench seat I changed the green and haven't touched the middle seats again. I want more of a grayish green. Just not mixing right. Hmmm.

Frustrating.

It seems right when I'm doing it and when I sit with it a while it feels a bit yucky.  At least I'm getting the shapes dialed in, I guess?
I know nobody gives a rats ass, but this is what I got for now to share. Better than nothing.

Marriage Equality Painting day 5

I'm coming along pretty good. Its size seems a little overwhelming.

I'm painting today with a friend at my house. Probably by the weekend I will be drawing the wedding cake into the back seat and hopefully start painting on it next week.