Sketchbook

These are just some pages out of my sketchbook as of lately. I first described about it on my September 11th post "A little Sketchy". It is one of the many things I'm doing for my class. We draw still life's in class, but are to keep a sketchbook. She wanted us to always have a pencil in the drawing. That was just because she ran into so many students saying I can't think of anything to draw. So basically you can draw anything as long as there is a pencil in it, or it can be the main subject. I've decided drawing really isn't my thing, I'm just ok at it. Painting is the thing that does it for me. I love the application, making and painting colors and thinking up an interesting subject for the composition. Unfortunately, the two go hand and hand most of the time. Unless you're an abstract artist and I'm not. So, I will plug along and try to refine my drawing skills until I am comfortable with the process. I already have picked up things that have been very beneficial to my craft, so it has been positive. It's just not in my comfort zone.

Feeling like having fun this morning

Playing with shadows

I saw these beams of light and knew I needed to play with them.

Wayne Thiebaud

http://www.pmcaonline.org/

(check it out)

We went to the Pasadena Museum of California Art today.

Wayne Thiebaud (Tee-bow) was the main reason we went.

This picture above doesn't do him justice.

He paints a lot of bakery type items, delicatessens, and also great landscapes.

His use of color is fabulous especially in the shadows and his use of thick paint goes right along with his subject matter. It's as if it was frosting instead of paint on the canvas.

Got a little culture today.

Space Invaders

My Moms house was broken into yesterday and I'm so thankful she wasn't there. She was with me, thank goodness. She got home and was doing her little pitter puttering around the kitchen and then decided to go to her bedroom for something and saw her curtain blowing. Then realizing her window was broken out. She called me first, I told her to call 911. The intruder had taken one of those lawn ornament flag holders and smashed the window, then conveniently takes one of her wrought iron chairs and puts it by the window to climb in. This was a quick job, because all he took was a jewelry box with costume jewelry,with maybe a few small gold chains. He or She (I guess)? didn't take other stuff that was readily available to him. I mean stuff that was way more valuable than that little box. It was so cute, my mom was checking her curio cabinet and was amazed they didn't taken any of her antique figurines. The cops said, "mam, they are looking for money and jewelry." But those things are more valuable to her, which I guess is a good thing, because they didn't take them.

Hubby and sister also came to be with mom. Hubby boarded up the window until glass guys come this morning. We cleaned up glass and made sure mom felt comfortable. What a nice hubby.

I've always feared something happening to my mom. She is my sweet mom and my sweet friend and the thought of something happening to her makes me sick. I always try to remind her safety wise to do things and try to protect her as much as I physically can. I'm so glad she didn't walk in on this person. I'm so glad she's OK.

If I was King Kong, I'd throw him so far.

I wrote a letter last night. One that has been long over due. It is to my hubbby's father, whom in my book a miserable human being. He has been an angry at the world type of person for as long as I've known him. I've seen the horrible effects on his family, especially to my love. He was a drunk and has been sober for about 10years, but still a dry drunk. His behavoirs never changed, because that's all he knows. Last year he lost his wife, my hubby his mother. We now have gone into a realm of how do you help and love someone who doesn't do the same for you. The mother held whatever little string it was to pull them together and now there is no excuse to be around. Yet somehow he reaches out in loneliness, but always reverts back and degrades in the usual way.

I feel sorry for him sometimes, but my loathing at what he did to my husband growing up always makes me snap right from those feelings of pity.

I don't know if I'll send the letter or if I just needed to get it off my chest.

I am going to share it.

I’m sorry your mother didn’t nurture you. I’m sorry your father left you and your mother. You were left on your own while she worked and then came home to drink her sorrows and frustrations away. You were left to figure it out on your own with no skills to do so. You were a little boy, who became tough. She herself left a bad situation at very young age and had to go into survival mode. So she was not nurtured, so therefore didn’t know how to nurture you and make you feel comfortable and warm inside. She was angry at the world, could not handle the joys of others. To show pride was to only show her accomplishments because no one would do that except for her. To let down, be real and loving would show weakness. That would have been to painful, it was easier to drink and kill those feelings. In return killing the relationships around her so she did not have to tend.

You found yourself someone to love and to love you. But she, like you, was not nurtured. She was lost and passed around at an early age. She was a little girl forced to grow up. Relatives took care of her in the means of physically, but mentally there was very little nurturing. A kind of safe warm feeling that we all need. That soft spot, the happiness and joy that makes you feel that you’re important to somebody, isn’t real common place with either one of you.

Next came your family and what were you to do, except what you learned on your own and what you saw growing up. You went into survival mode, you didn’t know how to be a father, you had no role models. She didn’t know how to be a mother, she had no role models. Neither of you had unconditional love except for each other and you truly didn’t know how to nurture that. The stresses of life were to much and you didn’t know how to handle them, because you were never taught . By this time you were to stubborn and set in your ways to want to learn. Because getting angry at the world is much easier than looking at yourself. So the drinking numbs and makes an excuse for everything. And that is what you were taught, so you went with it. That’s what children do, they mimic there parents, and that’s what you did.

The outcome, you are lonely and the family is split apart. Why? There was only survival. By survival, I mean between you and her, and the kids had to survive you. Survive your selfish anger, hate, hostility, drunkeness, and mostly lack of unconditional support and love.

This has effected them in so many ways and you are so wrapped up in yourself (because that’s all you know)you don’t want to see it or even understand it. Because like your mother, the sorrows and pain would be to much. So instead, they will flounder and beat themselves up and pass on some of the baggage that they learned from their parents. Some will drink to numb, some will think they know it all, some will be angry at the world, some will try to reinvent, some will lash out, some will beg for attention. Once again, Why? They are hungry for love and caring and a family unit.

It’s not to late, what else do you have to do (go to a casino). A good person is inside, you’ve just never met him. Make your family proud, fight for them. Go get help ( I know you don’t need it, your life’s perfect, right?) They need a father, a loving father and they need to have peace. You need some peace and understanding for yourself.

You have pushed everybody away with your negativity, anger, your coldness and you mopey disposition. This isn’t new, it was way before she passed, they tolerated it for her. Now they have no reason, because why would you want to be around that. Did you enjoy being around it growing up.

Do yourself the biggest favor and go get happy, get therapy and bring this family back together. It might be a long haul, but I’m sure it will bring happiness to your heart.

Eyes Wide Closed.

What's behind the lids?

Back on my little track.

Our gallery opening for our student show was a success. This show in particular was very stressful on me. I am a person who can handle quite a bit, but when that bit is pushed, not so much. It all becomes very overwhelming trying to juggle to many things at once. Doing an art opening such as this takes a lot of organizing. I equate it to planning a small wedding reception. There's is a lot of responsibility also in making sure other people's art is well accounted for and handled in a proper way. Being such a grassroots operation, I really tried to go above and beyond to make sure we didn't look like a bunch of fumble butts. Actually this was a great turn out people wise, but in a way it back fired on us. Our three main goals were,

1. To give students the opportunity to get there art shown.

2. To make a little extra money for the gallery.

3. To network, by having all those artists enter they were sure to each bring in at least 1-2 people to see their work. Thus, letting people know we exist.

Where the backfire came in, well the co-op members already have an agreement that 50% of our sales goes to the gallery. Part goes to the rent, rest goes to keeping the gallery running. Actually that percent is about the norm for most gallery's. Anyways, we had let the students know if they had their work hanging it had to be for sale and the gallery would get 50%. So what most of them did is walk around our gallery and price according to our prices. Not good. Others didn't want to sell so they marked them at outrageous prices, I mean completely out of touch. Either way, just was a complete disaster.

Art is pretty much is at a stand still right now because of the economy and maybe this will be a good learning lesson for them. Or maybe they simply don't care. I dunno?

So today, I start getting back to all the things I neglected while putting this shindig together. I've fallen behind on painting. We have a small works show planned for middle of November. So I need to get focused on that. Also, I have been slacking with doing my sketches for drawing class.

Need to spend time with my mom and sister and need to have some sex with the hubby.

Important stuff, back on track.

This Site makes me Happy

http://www.foundshit.com/category/design/page/8/

I just ran across this site and love it.

Eva you're gonna love it.

Been busy

We've been getting ready for a juried student show at our gallery. There's a lot to be done and most of it left up to us. So far we have 39 submissions. Today is the last day to enter and it will be interesting to see how many we get.

Pop Rocks Review

It's worth a try, just for the fun of it.

What's in a name?

Laroo Fondue

In my next life I want to be a stripper.

No, I really do.

If anybody knows of someone who could help teach me pole dancing from the wheelchair, I'd love it.