Thursday, May 6, 2010

Frivolous Franny

Being me in a wheelchair takes some creativity in order for me to be happy.

For instance, there are things that loom over me that pop up every now and then that as a woman I struggle with. Most would find it frivolous, but I think it is the kind of thing where if it is unattainable you yearn for it.

With our Mexico trip getting closer, my anxieties are going into overload. Yes, about stupid shit that I can't do anything about.

I feel that what I have pulled off being in a chair is pretty good in the fact of not falling into the role of stereotypical disabled person. That might sound a bit harsh, but very true. A large portion of the general public have a preconceived notion of how all of us should look and be. I've tried very hard to break that mold.

Anyways, I get down on myself when I am really not going to be the "norm".

So here we go down to a resort were everyone is nude and many are pretty sexy. I know not all, but this is where I struggle in many different ways. Most women (non handicapped ones) would find it pretty intimidating and fuss over being just right. People are going to look at you no matter if you're fat, skinny, ugly, flabby or tight. Okay, now add the not so perfect mid-grade chick in the wheelchair. I know, hold your head high, boobs up and head full force in, right? You, know I will.

In my dreams I would love to slink my body across the pool deck. I would wear sexy high heels and dance at the disco. I would walk up the flight of stairs that go to the jacuzzi and disco. I would take a stroll down the beach. I would frolic naked in the waves.

I know that I will enjoy myself and I will do as much a I can. Yes, some of those things are within my reach, but not on my terms.That is why I say it takes some creativity to be me.

I really am thankful for what I can do and the great guy I have supporting and loving me. But I am human and have thoughts and hopes and wants.


justme said...

When you show up at the beach nude, no-one will notice a wheelchair. Enjoy the sun and the people around you. Don't stare though, it is impolite.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you will make the most of it. I agree with justme!

La Roo said...

justme- They will notice the wheelchair, believe me. Thank you though. Oh I'm a people watcher, I'll try not to stare to long. :)

Southern Sage- I wlll do my best. I plan on having a good time.

Bigger said...

You will have fun. I dont see your chair holding you back any. It dosent seem to from what you blog about.

But if it does im sure there will be plenty of people to help you out. I know I would.

Just think, naked girl needing help. IM THERE

Bob said...

Your winning personalty, smiling, happy face, killer bod, stand-up boobies, fun loving/adventure some spirit and can do attitude puts you head and shoulders above a lot of people who are "mobile" but lack big time in one or more of the areas just mentioned. The man upstairs often whispers to me, "Make the best of what you have to work with and everything will work out." So, put mind over matter don't sweat the things that can be changed. I just love who you are, the way you are.

Anonymous said...

Hi LaRoo, sorry I've been quiet for such a long time. Just returned from India. Hope you're well!
Lots of love from Chica xox

La Roo said...

Yay!!! Chica's back! Hi sweet girl. You've been missed.
I can't wait to hear of your travels. Hope you are well and happy. Yay!! Chica's back!!

Bigger-You're encouragement is very nice, thank you.

Bob-Wow, you make me out to be a super neat person. I would like to meet me. :)
I try to make the best out of things and I think that is known, but these are my little insecurities speaking to me. I'm not proud of them.
You are very kind.

L0nestar5 said...

I agree with you. Happy days! Chica is back!!
Can't wait for her blog to be up and running again! Between hers and yours, my life was running smoothly. With 1 of you missing, it went awry.
The universe is in balance again!!

Mr M.

Just A. Girl said...

Fascinating post. I'm sure you'll have fun and will be eye-catching in more ways than one.