Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Playing with myself

Being the sexual being that I am, there is something that I really have never been fully comfortable with. There is absolutely no reason for it and I think it's about time to do something about it.
Let me preface by saying that sex with my husband is great and we have fucked every which way. We've done it  in public places, tied up, curtains open in hotel, once while another couple watched. I like rough sex, and the more I get it the more I want it. Not that it's not satisfying it just turns me into crazy sex woman.
That's where my issue comes into play. I never have truly masturbated the whole way through with my husband there. Maybe once, but was not fully comfortable. I want to feel free to do this without feeling shy or self conscience. I will get things going with myself, late at night when he's asleep or in the shower or when he leaves for work. I want to share this with him. I want to be ok if he were to walk in on me doing this. I feel like I would shut down because maybe I would make him feel like he wasn't doing me good enough. Or that it would somehow turn him off.
I've been so horny as of late and sometimes just feel like going into the bedroom and letting loose. Something always seems to inhibit me doing so.


13messages said...

That's really interesting to me. I love masturbating, but my wife contends that she has only truly done that a few times in her life.

She says pretty much the same thing that you did. She's just never been quite comfortable with doing that for herself.

At least she lets me guide her hand when we play...

Bob said...

On this subject I think that George Carlin said it all:

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."
~George Carlin

La Roo said...

My husband says that's why the T-Rex was always pissed off

momentextase said...

Hey! It is OK where you are!

Don't sell those discomforts, inhibitions or those resistances short!!

Each discomfort is like a little sign on the road that says "Learning to be found here!" or "Expand your awareness and possibilities Avenue -1/2 mile." or "NEXT STOP! Discomfort preforming their new hit -'Let me take you sexually deeper, baby' -daily!

It is natural to think of discomforts as something to be overcome. Also, it is easy to imagine all sorts of reasons we are unfomfortable about something. Could be right..could be off base.

Sometimes our discomforts are actually ways we protect ourselves, sometimes they hold us back.

But we can only sort all that out by opening up that particular discomfort bag and seeing what it is all about. Integration of the origin of the discomfort vs. overcoming it.

La Roo wrote:
"...the more I get it the more I want it. Not that it's not satisfying it just turns me into crazy sex woman."

Wow crazy sex woman, we sure know where you are coming from!! No wham, bam, roll over, and fall asleep for you -eh? We are crazy sex people too, and you describes how that feels perfectly.

It is a sign you are in the cosmic flow, the energy builds and builds and you are absorbing it within. As opposed to releasing and draining it off into nothing.

Any hey, you are both there in the flow, or it wouldn't work that way!
Or induce naked lawn mowing!

La Roo, we have been where you are as individuals in our pasts, we even went through this masturbation inhibition a little bit when we first got together.

Talk to him about it, explain to him this is another color on your sexual pallette you want to enjoy using....and brushing him with.

I bet he is there with you already, and when you open those discomfort bags together you will find similar things in each others bags. And no matter what they are, they will be lovable.

After that -then do it! lol! Together at first.

Stay checked in with any discomforts that come up... but watch how they begin to integrate from a distance, and most of all, be certain to really check in with his energy. Be sure to welcome and add to yours the excitement you incite in him. And vice versa!

Lavish yourself for him, flaunt, display, exhibit, beam... and vice versa!

Maybe ritualize things if that sort of thing works for you.

Rome wasn't built in a day, it is enough to take baby steps and go step by step. Also, there is no failure, only feedback!

If anything comes up, discuss and rinse and repeat! But keep it fun... and make it a team thing. Help each other figure it all out.

We walk in on each other masturbating a lot, that gets us each so hot!! We ending up making a bit of a "show" for the other when that happens... which is so fun!

We also masturbate for each other( and others too) at all sorts of wierd times, and in the "rest times" between the "waves" when we are really going at it.

Anyway, sharing this is just so sexy and sexually expanding! The integrations aquired can have spin-offs in all sorts unexpected ways in other aspects of life too!
As all self-mastery does!

Glad you shared where you are at with this La Roo, provoked a lot of discussion... and more... between Ms.ME and myself! Thank you!

ME & Ms.ME xoxox

La Roo said...

I am starting to see my discomforts as little life lessons.
I am so appreciative of the sharing of your life experiences. It makes me think that I am not alone.
And reassures me that I can make a difference in my own life.
Thank you.

Andi said...

The best way to become comfrtable with masterbating (either by yourself or in front of someone else) is to keep doing it. It's fairly clear that you enjoy cumming :) so why not try to make it a part of your normal sex play?

I also find that masterbating outdoors is an incredible turn on - maybe worth experimenting with?

Ever M. Famous said...

wow what an interesting topic. we can have hot nasty butt naked monkey sex with our partners but can't seem to masturbate in front of them.

I can totally relate. I was in a threesome and my boyfriend went down on me until I popped and lost all control, but for some reason I was embarrassed in front of the other woman...go figure. I digress too much info maybe lol

Some men love the visual of watching. I say let loose and bare it all!!

Great blog btw.

Ever M. Famous