Free to be me, now what?

Everyday I keep myself busy doing nothing. A part of me is very content, because it is what I know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not lazy by any means. I go workout, do household stuff, go and do whatever wih my husband, take my mom to lunch (who is getting up there in age),errands, tend to my sister who lost her husband a year ago (that's a feat in itself),I attend the community college painting classes, go places with friends, and so on. Okay... then the other part of me wants to get out in the world and do something productive. Over the years I've been taken care of and watched over, and some of it for good reason. But I was so in grossed in my incapability's and just trying to get by each day, I never learned how to go forward like a young person should. I didn't learn about the real me and who I was. My body was on a downward slope, and the further I sunk, the more I just existed. In probably the last 4-5 years I've slowly come out of my shell. I've been able to find things to better myself, both physically and mentally. It took my own research and willingness to try something new. I also learned not to fully depend on doctors and family all the time.

 I'm about 95% self sufficient nowadays, and just need something to feel satisfied. I know it seems simple, (here comes the but ).....but it's not as easy as you would think. I would like a part time job, own a tiny business or just anything to feel as if I accomplished something worth while. Like helping out with our household income. I've applied for jobs, but usually don't have enough experience. I haven't worked since I was in my teens. This last job interview I went on, the person couldn't get past the whole wheelchair thing. They perceive what they think you can do, therefore you're down the tubes before you start. I'm currently plugging along and pretty persistent on the whole job issue. I've been getting my resumes out almost everyday. Everyone keeps saying that something will come my way, but I'm not so confidant about that. Maybe I should just make wheelchair porn. :o