Friday, August 9, 2013

Let nature do its thing

I've changed the background color and added the tattoo and dialed in some other details. I've changed my thought process on this a bit. He was going to be tattooing and he still could've but I'm going to add some keys hanging from the tree to kind of go along with the subject of the tattoo. This wasn't the original tattoo I was intending to paint on but found this one and just had a little revelation as to the woodpecker could look like he was unlocking or picking the lock.
Ever  evolving art. This happens with almost every piece in one way or another.

On a side note or kind of an update. I'm depressed.
I'd like to be here all happy, silly, sexed up and nude, but instead I'm depressed and I've been fighting this feeling of...." I can't feel this way" A sort of denial, I guess. But it is real and self destructive and I can't stop it. I feel heavy and tired and numb and just feel like each day that I'm lost. I've unfortunately been here before. This time it's been here for a while and I just didn't want to see it and have to face the facts that I'm here again.
I can put on the happy face and pretty much no one knows. I do that well. These last couple years have been intense for me. Maybe someone else could breeze through it unscathed, but it has taken me down to a low point.  I think the worst part is that I "thought" I had come to a peaceful place within myself and was proud that I found that. Then the last year and a half happened and now I am treading water hoping I can grasp something to pull me out of this hole.


Virgil Austin said...

I can't even pretend to know what to say to help you with your depression. But if it's responsible for the change in style and subject of your artwork pieces, then it seems to be somehow a good thing. Your detailing is approaching photorealistic compared to the pieces of the past. Keep working, maybe you can blow it all out of your system and reach a place of inner peace.

I'm pulling for you and I'm sure others are too.

Tom said...

We're all hoping this darkness is just a brief tunnel you're passing through. Keep creating -- that helps!

La Roo said...

Virgil- I appreciate your kindness. I think in ways it has changed my artwork and lets hope for the better. I have always had a photorealistic kind of way about the way I paint. Maybe not always shown here though.

Tom- Very kind words. Creating does help, but sitting withmyself for long periods of time can be hard. I'm trying to create in small doses. LOL