Thursday, April 5, 2012

I've officially turned into a bitch

I feel like this dude and hopefully in the next few weeks I will return to normal or I'll even settle for half way normal.
Tonight is the last night to take the birth control pills and hopefully put me on course for not having my period when we go on vacation.
To describe what I have felt like for the last couple months is nearly impossible. A big pile of shit is the closest thing I can even get close to.
The hormones in the pill have taken my world and dumped it in the gutter. This has been the roller coaster ride from hell.
I've done everything I could to snap my shit out of it and I have had little luck and have officially turned into a bitch.
That happy go lucky gal that loves life and love and sex is no where to be found.
My husband, who happens to be one of the sweetest men in the world has put up with some crazy stuff and I am ashamed for my actions.
He wins an award for putting up with me for the last couple months. Holy Shit!
I felt so bad......last night we were in bed and he was leaning over to me and started kissing my waist and then up my shoulder and kind of growled and what was my reaction???? I came unglued and stood up and cringed. It just felt yucky. I felt sooooo bad. He was being so sweet and I acted that way.  Good Gawd! This is not me! I love him. I love his touch. I love his everything and oh for fuck sakes I'm such a bitch!
I apologized, but how do you apologized for something as mean as that?

All this to go on an already paid for nude vacation. Is it worth it?

Endometrial Ablation, here I come!

When we get back from our trip I have scheduled myself for this procedure. Hopefully it will help.


CarynSKA said...

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
I started the Depo shot a few months ago after never having used hormones before in my life.
The Pharmacist told me to expect some mood swings, but I was really not prepared to turn into a cranky hormonal bitch at such little provocation. I'm slowly getting used to it and learning to cope with the mood swings.
Over all the shot's been fantastic, so it's worth the side-effects, but it's taking a lot of getting used to.
I hope things get better for you and that you have a fabulous vacation!

ChiTown Girl said...

Aw, sugar, I'm so sorry. Hopefully, now that you're done with the pills, your hormones will level off, and you'll be back to your old self soon.

Just think about how VERY much your husband loves you, as he has stood by through this emotional rollercoaster ride. :)

BTW, the best friend is having an ablation done this month. I'll let you know how it goes.

Anonymous said...

No man can understand what a woman experiences. The only hope we have is to have the patience necessary to stand by and hold on.

Bob said...

I had five shots of Jack last night which were not quite like the Depo deal but still powerful. Shortly thereafter, I went to bed, next thing I knew the wife curled up next to me wanting sex and BAM! I passed out!!! This morning Wifey is a bit pissed. Me? I'm hung over and trying to be nice.

No woman can understand what a man experiences.

La Roo said...

CarynSKA- Thanks for your concern. My body is just not made to be on these things. Actually today was my first day off. I think it's going to take a bit to get my life back to normal.

ChiTown Girl-My husbands a saint. Thanks for your sweetness. Yes! please tell me how things go with your friend.

Baby Boomer- We all have our shit and this happens to be mine right now. Not to say that it is worse than any other issue, I just know what Im experiencing and it's not fun. My husband is holding on and that is getting me through.

Bob- Damn, 5 shots! Maybe that's what I need to do to put me out of my misery. Or maybe hubby needs to start drinking again to get himself through, might be more like it.