Wednesday, November 25, 2009

We need to just stop and fuck.

I know at least for us this happens periodically. Where we get so many things going on and we just lose focus of our sex life. It's been about a month and it seems like forever. I asked last night, "don't you want to have sex with me,lately it doesn't seem like it"? He replied, "we need to go to bed earlier". To me and probably many other women, it's not about going to bed early because I want the teasing and the wanting. That gets me going, that turns me on. I want to know I'm wanted and I don't want to ask for someone to do that. I told him that, he replied, "I need to know I'm wanted". Ok that makes sense. I guess I don't assert myself enough and that is something I'm willing to work on. In my mind I think I am throwing off those signals and be flirtatious. I guess they aren't strong enough or they are not ones that do anything for him. I don't want to be boring or not fun anymore.
When we are on the same path of sensuality, there's no stopping us. I yearn for that.
This is such an important part of our relationship, I don't know why we let it go by the wayside like this. I think we have come to a new level with sex in the past couple years or so and that should be a good thing. I know there are underlying thoughts of different sexual thoughts and they need to be addressed. I would like to be in that comfortable spot, that time or place, that day when all is good.....when we can be totally free to both share those deep intimate thoughts. I think there are things we are unsure of..... if something is right or wrong or what the other would think and how far do we want to take these matters. I'd like to think we are way more open than most and have shared a lot, but there is more....there usually is.

7 comments:

Gray said...

It is amazing that sex is the first thing to end up going out the window when life gets us busy. But the communication always help. Great luck to you!:)

Britni TheVadgeWig said...

It's so much more important to relationships than people are willing to give it credit for. Kudos to you for recognizing that it was dropping off and talking about fixing it. Most people let it go, and it just gets worse.

Have fun!

Crash said...

um...at the risk of being seen to miss the point, it's been my experience that sex and sexual desire are fluid things [no pun intended], I've been less than happy in relationships but the sex has been frequent and passionate - and visa versa. I dunno if sex is a very good gauge of desire or if desire is a reliable indicator of commitment or 'love'.

If you're still talkin, and laughin and all that - well, I reckon you're ahead of the game ...

but of course that's just my opinion.

Love the blog - brilliant.

Paul [Crash]
An uncommonly ordinary blog

IronBear138 said...

Crash makes a good point. My wife was too sick for the last 10 months of her life to do any kind of fucking yet our love for each other was never stronger. However, you still have to take time away from the bullshit of life for some time to just enjoy each other.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your hubby!

Bob said...

My gawd, it must have been the moon being in the right place last night. The "wild thing" happened around 9 Wednesday evening after what I'd term as a very long dry spell . . . a drought to be exact. Going to bed much too late, Wifey getting up at 5 every morning to make a Jizzercise Class (now that would be a picture . . . jizz er- while you're cising): Each cuts into what is usually regular jungle sex. It's all about making time and not spending it doing something else.

Did the earth move for you last night? It moved three times for Wifey.... :)

La Roo said...

Gray- It didn't quite go out the window, but it was standing looking out. THANKS.

Britni-Our relationship has always been strong, but I always get scared when we get in a slump. I know they are natural, but I don't want to end up letting it go like some people do.

Crash-Hi welcome to my blog. I agree with you that sex isn't an indicator of a good relationship. I just fear losing that spark. It took us a long time to truly just let ourselves go and have just raw fun sex. I refuse to sit back and and watch it fizzle. Desire is so important to me, giving and taking.
We are still laughing, thanks. :)

Ironbear-You are right, it's just taking the time.

Bob, I thought there were some small earthquakes in Northern California yesterday eve. :)
And yes, my world was shaken. It's looking like I'll be giving a lot of "Thanks" these next couple days.
Dinners at 1:00, don't be late.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Bob said...

Damn. Missed dinner. Next year on the sailboat? :)