It's weird, I worry about my body image, but at the same time it bothers me to think I'm too vanilla. I don't want to be what people expect. I want to live pushing the envelope a bit. I want to be empowered and be a sexual being. I hope I can create some kind of new attitude towards different body types, be it standing or sitting. (starting with myself)
I work hard to be in the best shape I can. I eat well, exercise, take way to much time doing my hair and make up, laugh and love a lot. At the end of the day I will never have the body that I have in my mind. I play up my attributes and play down some major flaws. Unfortunately, in my mind I think I look better than I do . When I look in the mirror or pictures, I can't believe what has happened to my body. How it has failed me or how I fail it. Then on the complete flip side, I like to show my body. Somehow those roles don't play out well. Security and insecurity wrapped in one. How do I deal with that?