Whats up doc?

I pride myself these days of not having to see a doctor, with the excepting of an ear infection or some stupid thing like that.

A couple weeks ago I reluctantly made an appointment at the gynecologist. Today I go and I'm nervous. I've been experiencing some low times mentally about a week before and during my period. I think some of the results of that have even shown up here on my blog. I have been kind of tracking it now and have found that I just really get down at that time. It's not a pretty sight and I can't control it. At those times I just feel desperate and sad. It's pretty pitiful and I'm not proud of it.

Another thing I pride myself on is getting off all the meds I've been put on. I've taken some serious drugs because the doctors tried fix everything that way. That is just wrong! I have been on antidepressants years ago and it was not good. I really don't think I'm depressed. I've been depressed and this isn't how it felt. It didnt come and go, it stuck around for the long haul. I have dealt with my body long enough to know it pretty well and I think it might be hormonal??? I don't know.

My main fear about going other than the doc trying to put me on antidepressants is the dreaded blood test. Oh good gawd. We all have our fears and that is one of mine. I'm almost certain they are going to have to give me a blood test to see what's going on with me. Not lately because I haven't really done the whole doctor thing, but in my crazy medical past I've been poke and prodded. ( not in a good way). and they can never find my veins and end up fishing around while my stupid veins roll to the side. They always end up taking it out of my wrist and it comes out super slow and it hurts. Yes, I'm ashamed but I usually end up crying. I'm such a baby when it comes to this particular thing. Oh gawd, let's get it over with!!!~

We'll just have to see what comes about........