I wanna try something that I'm not sure I can do and I'm intimidated to do it.
Ok now that I have your attention.
I wanna try to do a Zumba class. To me its like trying to do a handstand in a way. I know its not impossible, it's just making it my own and owning it.
It's a suck it up princess moment that I've been pondering.
This past November I stopped trainer with a trainer that I'd been with for about 10 years. I since then found another trainer and I feel pretty good about it. He concentrates more on stretching me with minimal weight training. Which I didn't realize how beneficial its would be by him stretching me and so I go with it. I feel so much better, plus he's working out new muscles that weren't being activated before which I appreciate.
Hubby and I also joined the YMCA and have been going to workout and it's ok.
But I always see them doing Zumba class and it makes me just want to be a part. I feel so alive watching it.
I talked to the instructor the other day after the class and questioned her if she thought I could do it. She said yes and that I could just go at my own pace as to what I can do.
That said..........It's finding the courage to know I will be a spectacle (Not that I already haven't been to a nude beach) but getting used to it and owning it.
Of course it would be more of an upper body workout but I can do some leg stuff too, but while sitting. Even though I can stand, just standing alone is a feat let alone trying to dance or do anything extra.
One of many hurdles is realizing people will say stuff even if it is supposed to be nice like;
Good for you
Wow you can move that thing
Whats wrong with you?
And yes it will happen and only if you were in my situation you would understand.
I just want to be normal. I already draw attention and have to sit with that. I have to be the high fiver of yay I can do it, or have to listen to the comments that I really don't care to hear. I know sounds negative.......it gets old believe me and I try to handle it in the best possible way. Its just inevitable.
I just want to go enjoy, be challenged, get my groove on and make small talk and go on with my day.
Is that so hard for people to understand?
I don't ask why they have a wart on their nose or why their ass is big, or why do you walk that way?
Or yay for you! You didn't have a heart attack. Good job. Make sense? Or am I just a bitch?
So I guess this is the first of a process. Talking about it and being comfortable as I can be.
If I want to do it bad enough, Ill make the effort and make an ass out of myself and hopefully get past the embarrassment and comments and enjoy and hopefully make people realize I'm just there to have fun and be healthy.