Yesterday I had a bit of a melt down. Just driving to go workout and I took a deep breath and on the exhale just broke down with tears. I could barely see to drive and sobbed. I couldn't pull it together. Of course when I get to the gym, I'm a wreck. Which I hate for people to see me upset. So, we workout, and hard I might add and it just through me for a loop. My body and mind for the rest of the day was shot. I had stuff to do and I plugged along and got through. Knowing today was going to be a better day.
Well so far this morning I've woke up with a heavy heart and tears rollin. I'm pitiful. I've felt so good the last couple weeks. I know why.,..........I miss my mom and it's gonna be this way for quite some time.
It's still unreal.
On another completely unrelated note. Let's make this a list of events, because I don't want a huge lengthy paragraph.
Neighbor we haven't talked to for about 5 years.
Always open to talking about anything
Fun gal, husband just ok
Wife went to dinner with hubby and I, 2 weekends ago.
We had drinks ( because I do that now)
Talked about her dating girls before she got married and much more
Back at her house on the couch watching TV.
Sexual talk, laughing, being silly, lots of drinking
Husband is at work late.
Sitting very close
Her hand on my leg rubbing my knee and down mid thigh
Hubby sitting close on other side rubbing her thigh.
In kitchen she gave hubby a small kiss peck (I learned later)
It was hot. That was as far as is went, but very hot.
We've flirty texted with response but not to flirty coming back on her end.
This was not a planned thing at all. The events took there own course.
She's a big drinker and don't know if she realized what she did or does and or just rather not.
She has young kids and she kept saying she was jealous of us because we can do whatever we want.
Ok, so that was fun. I wish it would've gone further. Told hubby that I need to learn to be a bit more assertive. I'm always afraid when it comes to this kind situation to over step boundaries, read into it wrong, afraid of not being sexy enough, I guess rejection and feeling stupid making the wrong move.
All I know is that it made for great hot sex between hubby and I later and we had fun talking and milling it over.