Friday, October 21, 2011

Anticipation...(isn't that a song?)

So anticipitory pain............
Mom needs a knee replacement. Sister just had one a little over a week ago. Sister was rare in the fact as she really hasn't had hardly any pain from it. Can't really be explained but she's doing great and that's just great.

Ok took mom to the doctors yesterday and he talked to her and I and basically her knee is bone on bone. Mind you, she is 84 and really has been healthy all her life and a real go getter. She's a trooper in pretty much everything she does. This year there has been a real decline and now this. I'm so freaked out. I'm so scared and doing everything I possibly can. I'm the one in charge emotionally and as much as I can physically, and it's only begun and I'm drained. I'm crying at the drop of a hat and just trying to pull myself together.

Anyways, when he was checking her knee out he touch her calf shin area and she crindged in pain and yelped pretty loud. Scared the shit out of me. He looked at me like, really? Then he squeezed moderately above her knee and she did about the same thing. He touched the middle of her knee and she had the same reaction but maybe a little less.

He sat her up gently after the examine and got down to her level and told her she is having anticipatory pain. He knows that her knee does hurt but he explained that he hardly touched her in areas that shouldn't hurt and she just about jumped out of her skin. When asked if it hurt she just kind of pussy footed around the subject and said I have old skin and couldn't explain her actions. He talked to us both and described how this kind of thing can really affect the outcome of this surgery. If she is this sensitive and over reactive and anticipative it could keep her from doing the work to recover from this major surgery.

She wants to go through with it and I don't think she gets the full grasp of it. She keeps pointing out that she's a fighter and is just going to push through it. There is more to it than that and she just doesn't see it. I've tried explaining several times and it doesn't register.
He told her there is a 50/50 chance of it being a successful outcome because of this. If I hadn't seen it with my own 2 eyes I wouldn't understand it. She scheduled the operation and all the classes and labs to go ahead with it right afterwards. Really, she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

I have a call into his nurse asking if there is sometime of touch therapy to maybe desensitize her to things or some kind of pain management. I thought about that after I got home of course.

This next week I will be looking into rehab/ convalescent places for backup in case the hospital rehab beds get full at the time. You can't reserve them, so you have to have a plan B. My sister went home with a private nurse and that has worked for her. (she's a whole other story in herself)
But the doc wanted my mom to stay in a facility, I think because of her age and all. Oh holy shit, I hate those kinds of places and this is my sweet mom. I feel so bad I can't physically do more or I would take her home and help her myself if I could. She's done so much for me.

I feel so helpless
This is theraputic for me to vent.

 Sorry, no fun and games and stupid stuff here today.



Bob said...

I don't mean to make light of what's posted here as for certain you have legimate concerns for both yourself and your family.

But I cannot help but write that it has to be true that Wifey also experiences anticipatory pain. . . any time I try to stick my dick in her butt she yelps just like a hound dog. Damn if there shouldn't be a cure for this ailment.

La Roo said...

That"s Frickin funny. I needed that Bob LMAO

C said...

lmao @ bOb...

laroo, it sounds like you are grieving already at the thought of losing your mom. its normal to feel like you do, i've been there. all you can do is pray for her, and be there for her, however ways that means for you.

its hard, not like an erection, but it's still hard...

but you will be ok.

La Roo said...

C- I does feel like I've been grieving.
I've been a mess and crying at the drop of a hat. I'm so frickin scared of watching her decline. I'm trying to hold my head high and just enjoy every moment I have with her. This has been a fear of mine since my dad died when I was 11. It seems to be coming at me like a frieght train now though.
Yesterday she and I went looking for convelesant rehab to have a plan B for after her surgery in case the hospital rehab is full. All I can say is "Oh my fucking Gawd". They all need to be blown up and rebuilt. They are not nice places. It's my mother and I just can't see her being in one. Arghhhhh.
So frustrating. I'm sorry .....................venting some more. Thanks for being so sweet and caring.
Big hugs for you sweet friend.