Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Open your eyes little bird.
This childhood book is where I got inspiration for the title of my blog. The little bird is confused and lost and searching for his mother and asks everyone, even the most obscure, "Are you my mother?"
At the beginning of my blog a few years ago I was still a lost little bird. I had overcome many things but didn't know what do with those things now that I had obtained them. If that makes any sense.
I didn't know how acceptable being my true self was going to be. If I could still be loved and have thoughts and fantasies and have wacky artistic views. Could I be a sexual and be in a wheelchair? Could I live a ......"normal" life and yet share my intimate thoughts and fantasies with a select few? Finding a happy medium where my everyday life wasn't corrupted (so to speak) with my true thoughts and desires. Where I was ok with telling of my sexual fantasies and frolics and somehow not feeling wrong about it.
Learning there are so many different kinds of people that have different views has opened my eyes. In my personal world everyone seems so straight laced and unwiling to go out of there box. I don't want to be closed minded like that. There is a world to explore and different avenues to go down and who is to say what is right and who is wrong. My ideas about my life and how I want to live it are stronge now all the way around and not just sexually.
Having closed the doors this past weekend on our gallery was quite a bummer, but that experience was one that I was definitely glad that I chose to go down that avenue. Years ago it would have intimidated the heck out of me and I would have shyed away from it. Now I'm so proud of this endeavor I beem with pride. The big thing everybody keeps asking is, "what's the next chapter"? This was a deal of a life time and I'm pretty sure we won't find anything close to what we had. We figured it out and if we had been paying the full amount for this space for the last 2 years it would have totaled about $175,000.00.
I'm telling you, it was in the perfect location...foot traffic,..movie theaters...upscale stores. Most of all it was safe, I felt safe being there. That is so important to me.
We could probably swing a cheapo rent somewhere, but I know it won't feel safe and there won't be foot traffic etc. Plus I don't know if I'm ready to continue with the group (co-op) I'm involved with.
At the moment I am just painting and catching up on things that I haven't got to do because I've been so busy. We have decided to start immersing ourselves more into the art world going to openings and networking. I will be entering more shows and will most likely try to find a dealer who might be interested in my work. Even some of the major museums have a rental department, where they take work in and people rent your work for a certain amount of time. That sounds interesting to me also. I need to have a body of work ready to present before I can do most of what I've talked about. So, this girl needs to just trudge forward and see what happens.
So the next chapter? I have no idea.
Are you my life?